Due date is today and I was diagnosed with Mild Preeclampsia

So we finally reached "THE DAY" and well things are not going so great. I've been on bed rest since Thursday night, because of a BP of 150/100 and some swelling. After today's appointment and a BP of 144/94 and a slight headache for a few days, our midwife wants to induce, starting with Cervadil. If that doesn't work then probably some pitocin. I'm not ready to take that route. I doubt the home birth, I so desperately want, is going to happen and am pretty bummed about it. I'm trying to be o.k. with it, but I just want certain things and I definitely do not want a c-section.

I feel that I've already lost out on having a biological child and I want the natural childbirth with all the natural bonding hormones that comes with it. I want the immediate bonding with my child right after a vaginal birth, that special 1 hour after birth where bonding is super strong. I want to breastfeed immediately. I do not want the baby "taken" from my stomach, then swept away to a nursery, where they will give the baby a bath and whatnot and I will not be able to see him or her for 2 hours. I also do not want our baby to be given a pacifier or to be given a bottle with formula. I want every opportunity to make breast feeding as easy as possible, for that is another way for me to bond naturally with my child. I don't think if this child was my biological child that I would feel this strongly about any of these things. I think they are important, but I don't think I would be so dead set about them and feel like a death if I do not get them.

I want the baby to come when the baby is ready. I'm barely 1 cm dilated, the uterus is posterior and the baby is high, so it seems unlikely that I will progress fast enough at the hospital to avoid the c-section.

I don't know, I wish this didn't need to be so difficult. I wish I didn't need to make these decisions. I wish my life and the baby's life was not in danger.

But on a positive note, I "feel" fine. :) My husband has been working from home and is ready to take off completely when the time comes. He's been waiting on me hand and foot, and is the "get back in bed" police. :)

Hopefully, sometime this week we will have our baby, so my symptoms will subside. If we are lucky, it will be the way we want it to be and if not, hopefully I can wrap my head around a hospital birth and possible c-section.

24 weeks

I know it's been a while, but there really wasn't much to say. Things are going well. I started feeling the baby move about a week and a half ago. It is the strangest feeling. It freaks my husband out, it's really funny. The first time he felt it, he yanked his hand away. It was pretty cute.

I've got a pretty good workout schedule going. I attend a water zumba class & prenatal yoga class on mondays, a regular zumba class Wednesday & Friday, and a longer more relaxed prenatal class on Thursdays. I want to be in as good as shape as I can be. I feel pretty good after all my workouts, so it's been pretty easy to keep up with it. I would have to say the hardest one is getting in that cold pool monday mornings, but once I start dancing in the water, it's all good. The regular zumba classes are fun and its challenging to keep my heart rate under 140, but I manage.

I've put on about 14 pounds so far, and only in the past couple weeks have I really started to show. I kinda like the special attention. Cars stop and let me walk, people hold doors open for me, it's great. Although, I'm not looking forward to the part where strangers want to give me advice and/or touch my belly. I'm not the touchy feely kind of girl.

I cleaned out my drawers this weekend of all my non-maternity clothes to make room for my maternity collection. Which I believe is almost complete, thanks to a gift card to Motherhood Maternity & Gap/Old Navy, a few thrift stores and of course Ebay. I spent $40 on a hugh lot of maternity clothes, which gives me lots of items to work with.

Yesterday, we celebrated our 3 year anniversary and Saturday we are flying to the Dominican Republic for a much needed vacation/baby moon. I'm pretty excited. We only just booked everything. I was beginning to worry that we were not going to be able to take a vacation before the holidays and before the baby.

Dec. 15th, we get to spend 3 weeks with my in-laws, who I love. They are great. I bet we start and finish the baby room while they are here. So far, we haven't made much progress.

Well, I think that catches me up. Another Ultrasound is tomorrow and hopefully, I'll scan all the pics so far and get them up here.

2nd Trimester...Yeah

I made it to the 2nd trimester!! I was never really sure exactly when it started since different books say different things, but no matter what, I should be in 2nd trimester now. I'm still nauseous and throwing up a bit, but I do think it might be getting better. My weight is still holding at 130, but I suspect that will be short lived. I'm excited to be close to showing and being able to feel the baby kick - I so can't wait.

We had our Nuchal Scan last week and everything turned out great. We got to see our little one again and that was a treat. It was moving quite a bit and even turned upside down on us. The Down Syndrome odds are 1 in 10,000+ and whatever is worse than Downs has the same odds. That was a relief. I shouldn't have been worrying, but now I have peace of mind.

I'm turning 35 in 11 days! I can't believe I'll be 35 when I have this baby. My goal was to have my first child at 25...I'm 10 years off! That is so crazy to me. Oh well, I'm in a better place now and I have the man of my dreams. Not to mention, I got to do a ton of traveling in the last 10 years. :)

Uncomfortable in my own skin...

I'm pregnant with ONE baby. I'm happy...but it's taking it's toll. I am incredibly nauseous everyday ALL DAY long. I've been this way for two weeks. My taste buds have changed and food I loved before tastes awful. I don't know what to eat now. I've been forcing myself to eat, but it is really hard. I spend 90% of my time laying in bed. It gets really bad when I stand for a few minutes and the gagging begins. Luckily, I work from home and am able to work from the bed. I have no idea what I would do if I had a real job I had to get to.

I've tried everything to help with the nausea: ginger ale, chamomile, acupuncture tacks, eating more often. I was practically crying at acupuncture on Wednesday. I need relief. My husband is being great. Humoring me with all my whims. I still get dizzy when I stand up. I also can't rest my arms on my stomach. Weird as that sounds, it just feels uncomfortable. I have to have all body parts not touching each other. I'm also waking up habitually at 4:30AM to use the bathroom. It's like clockwork and its really sucky. It has not been a fun pregnancy.

I'm about to be 8 weeks along and it's going to be a big week! We have our 2nd ultrasound followed with our graduation from Shady Grove. I made an appointment with a Midwife, referred to me by my acupuncturist, turns out we go straight to her after our ultrasound. I'm nervous. I hope I like her. I didn't interview anyone else. I came to the decision that I want a water/home birth. I've actually always wanted a water birth even before the "Business of being Born". I think that is what is going to be best for me. I am a rather shy, anxious girl and think I would be more comfortable in the safety of my home.

Current Weight:128lbs. Lost two pounds since I got pregnant.

2nd Beta = 1901

So far so good. I've told a few people, and I want
to tell more. I suppose, I'm a little fearful of it
being bad luck. I don't need any more bad luck, but I am so excited I want to tell everyone. I've attached our chart from our beta values. Seems pretty high. http://www.babymed.com/Tools/Pregnancy/hCG/

I'm glad that things are going so well. The next Beta will be Wednesday and the Sonogram some time next week. I am really looking forward to that to see if there is one baby in there or TWO.

I'm now reading: Feed the Belly. So far, I think it is a cute little book. I can't wait to try some of the recipes. I just read the chapter about all the nutrients I need. It's enough to make me go crazy. I am taking a very expensive ($64/month) prescription prenatal vitamin. It's called Gesticare DHA. My nurse said it was very important and way better than the Flintstones vitamins I was taking before transfer. Anything for a healthy baby or babies.

So far, my symptoms are the same, a tad dizzy sometimes, a little nausea, and some crampy feelings. It's funny, I'm glad I get dizzy, because I know I'm still pregnant. Beats peeing on a stick to see if it's still in there.

I'm having occasional thoughts about the other two women who shared my donor. Did their cycle work? If so, will they have 1 or 2 babies each? I doubt the nurse would tell me if they were successful or not. It's going to be strange knowing that my child may have quite a few (genetic) brothers or sisters out there. The other thought that has crossed both my mind and my husbands is that we overpaid for our successful cycle - since it only took one try. But we are pregnant, so we are happy.

1st Beta is 515...shots continue!!!

I'm managing the shots much better with a new moist heating pad, so the news that I have to continue my shots was great to hear. I'm officially pregnant!! The next test is Monday, I'm super excited. I've already been to the library and picked up three or four pregnancy books. I'm half way through: "Our bodies, Ourselves - Pregnancy & Birth". I pretty much got up to the birth part and decided to read that part later when I am much further along.

I am wondering what the next steps are. I know that I stay with the fertility people for two months, but when do I find who I see after that and when do I see them? I'm not sure if I want an OB or a midwife - Can I have both? I like some modern technology, but I want to have as natural a childbirth as I can have. I'm also pretty sure I want a doula, at a birthing center or even a home birth. Lots of information is swirling around in my head. I even bought an app on the iPhone to track the pregnancy. Our baby is the size of a sesame seed. :) My husband gets a kick out of that. He had a dream that I gave birth to a hamburger, so he says we are on our way to our baby hamburger. I'm not sure how to figure out how far along I am. According to one way (the 40 week method) it says I'm 5 weeks and one day and my due date is March 5, 2010. It's based off my last period, but is that accurate with IVF? I find it strange that they count the first couple weeks when I am not pregnant & not ovulating (my donor was though). I would have guessed I was a little more than two weeks along since that's how long it has been since transfer. I'm currently: 15 days past my 3-day transfer.

I'm thinking about continuing with the acupuncture throughout the pregnancy. It's nice going and relaxing if nothing else is happening. I'm also thinking about starting a weekly yoga program for pregnant women. I feel like it might be too soon, but a new session is starting in a couple of weeks. I definately need to get into some exercise program, I've done nothing for a few weeks now. I want to be as healthy as I can be. I really can't believe all this is happening to us and on our first try!

Two Pink Lines!!

O.k. so I could not hold out, I took my first home pregnancy test Saturday morning - 8 days after transfer. The result was...very very faint. We took the second one this morning - and sure enough the second line was much darker today. So, I think I am pregnant. WOW.

Hubby is not too excited yet...I suppose he doesn't want to get his hopes up - or mine. He says there are so many things that can go wrong. He's also hoping for twins! Wow. He says he just wants to go through all this one - no more money, no more shots. I see where he is coming from, but twins? Would be a lot more work for me. He gets to leave each day, 10 hours a day...while I'd be home feeding TWO little ones all day.

Friday, we get to find out how pregnant we are. I am pretty excited!